Tag Archives: life-long

Youth Ministry and Marriage Holding Hands

Youth Ministry and Marriage: Holding Hands

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The beautiful couple walks out of the church sanctuary, hand in hand. The wedding ceremony is over and now the marriage begins. For this couple, marriage is holding hands with ministry. The couple wonders how this will work out after the honeymoon is over. For me and my bride, ministry took us to our honeymoon. Within days of getting married, we headed to Rockford College for two weeks of Youth for Christ training. Our honeymoon suite was a stark dorm room. I do not recommend this. I’m still trying to make up for this with my bride some thirty five years later.

So how does a married couple hold ministry in their hands? I want to share three insights that just might help you whether you have been married four months or forty years.

First grab hold of the hand of mercy. We’re all flawed people. No one is perfect, including your spouse. But you already knew that. That’s why we need to be Jesus to our spouses. Remember the parable of the Good Samaritan? A Jewish man was robbed and left half dead alongside the road. Along came an unlikely neighbor, a Samaritan. The Samaritan took pity on the Jewish man in the ditch and cared for him. The Samaritan displayed mercy or the giving of what’s not deserved. My wife is my closest neighbor. She gets beat up by life and sin. I need to have compassion. I come alongside her. I apply mercy along with the other gifts of love and grace that Jesus provides. These wonderful gifts flow from a close relationship with Jesus. As a married couple our first responsibility is to abide in Jesus. Jesus is the Vine and we are the branches. Life flows from Him. Apart from Him we can do nothing (John 15:1-5).

Next we grab hold of the hand of mission. In your per-marital counseling or wedding ceremony, you probably heard the words of Matthew 19:5, 6… “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one.” Did you catch the phrase, “So they are no longer two, but one?” Make sure you are together on your mission. If you have any children, they are important to your mission. You have a responsibility to pass on your passion for Jesus to your children (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).

Make sure your ministry doesn’t take you away from this primary mission you have as a married couple. Then look for ways to make the ministry you have as a mission together. My wife Pat has been great in our years of marriage and ministry.

Whether it’s been my years in youth ministry or now as a pastor, she’s my biggest cheerleader and prayer warrior. We do ministry together as often as we can. Together we are in sync with the mission Jesus has given us.

Finally hold tight to the hand that is connected to the wrist with the watch on it. Ministry can be time consuming. We need to be skilled enough to manage the twenty four hours God gives to us each day. Ephesians 5:15, 16 says, “Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time…” Make sure you are giving the time necessary to grow your marriage. We need to sit down with our spouses and go over our weekly schedules. We need to set boundaries in our ministry and put date nights on our calendars. Are you spending enough time with your spouse and family? Is your relationship growing with them? Ask your spouse! Have the conversation. Manage time together.

After all these years of marriage, I still get a thrill holding Pat’s hand. Make sure you walk hand in hand with the one you love. As a married couple in ministry, hold Jesus hand even tighter. Hands together will provide the resources needed to live out marriage and ministry.

Promoting Life-Long Volunteers

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Youth ministry is all about working within different seasons. At times, you will have more students attending your events than you ever thought and at other times, you are unsure where everyone is at. The same is true with volunteers, sometimes you have little or no volunteers and at other times, you are unsure what to do with everyone you have. Of course, the number of volunteers you have is based directly n how much effort you put towards them but we must not forget that sometimes there is no new resources to draw from to find new volunteers to replace those who are done for now.

Youth Specialties highlighted a rockstar volunteer, Verna Kline, recently on their website who is an 81 year old volunteer youth worker who has been volunteering for 63 years. Here is the video of Tic Long at NYWC honoring her many years of service.

Because there are different seasons to volunteers’ lives and getting new volunteers, we need to be always promoting an environment of life-long volunteers with youth ministry. So when we run into those seasons of low numbers of volunteers, we can lean on those who are in it for the long haul.

  • Let them know your expectations from the start. If you tell them they are going to be doing games up-front, do not force them to do a sermon or lead small group without first asking for their permission..
  • Publicly praise their years of volunteers. If you have those volunteers who have served for 5, 10, 15, 0r more years, praise them to your staff, students, congregations and other volunteers. Let them know you love them as well as other volunteers who may look up to them.
  • Know their volunteer love languages. That means that you need to know what stresses them out and what builds them up. Then use that valuable knowledge to put them in the perfect volunteer roles. If they hate public speaking, they may be the perfect small group leaders.
  • Set them up for the win. We all love to have those moments when our excitement is renewed because of some kind of win. If we can become selfless and give that opportunity to a volunteer when we see it, we will be empowering them more than words ever can.
  • Allow for “vacations” from ministry instead of “retirements.” Life is hard and when volunteers have their own children, careers, and other expectations and goals, you can do everything right by your volunteers and they still need to stop volunteering. But instead of saying good-bye to them, communicate instead that it is good-bye for now, letting them know you are welcoming them back when they are ready.
  • Invest in them personally, rather than just professionally. I am all about talking with volunteers, getting their opinions on topics of youth ministry, and asking for creative ideas for ministry. But I love to simply hang out with my volunteers, over coffee, a dinner, or board games. Open up the opportunities to be with volunteers beyond trainings and at youth group and live life with them.

How else do you try to get life-long volunteers?