Archives For family

“Drugs?  Yes, I smoke marijuana”, said Jonathan (not actual name).  “My brother introduced it to me.  I actually like it.  I don’t see anything wrong with it?”  Jonathan was 12 and just about to turn 13.  Jonathan’s life experiences and communication maturity was that of a 19 year old.  To have “street smarts” is an understatement.  He was very experienced.  Due to a dysfunctional family life, Jonathan never experienced his innocence.  If you minister to the youth of today, I am sure you have many related stories like Jonathans.

My wife and I had the privilege to do individual coaching and mentoring to struggling teens in our church’s youth ministry.  When you minister individually to other parent’s troubled children, you are able to build a vast knowledge base of the current issues challenging teens today.  You are given many opportunities to diligently pray and ask God for wisdom in how to minister to their need.  You gain experience in leading them to victory in overcoming their sin.  You are helping change young people’s lives!

What if you are a youth minister that has a family?  Do you minister to your own children’s needs too?  When you are helping change lives in the youth outside your home, are you also ministering to the lives that live within your four walls?  Before answering, consider the following:

  • Church-Youth
    You conduct private session(s) to discover the root cause of the problem.
    Family-Your Children
    Do you meet individually with your children to see how they are really doing?
  • Church-Youth
    You Coach, mentor, and teach biblical principles of righteousness on how to overcome sin.
    Family-Your Children
    Do you take dedicated focused time to coach, mentor, and teach righteous biblical principles to help prevent them from falling into sin?
  • Church-Youth
    You create action step(s) and follow-up regularly to check progress.
    Family-Your Children
    Do you help create goals for moving closer to God and do periodic checks?
  • Church-Youth
    You pray with youth.
    Family-Your Children
    Do you pray often with your children?

Your calling in ministry should not bear the fruit of neglect within your family that God has blessed you with.  Intentionally attending to your family’s ministry needs first, before others, builds a “kingdom” focused family.   A spiritually strong family empowers you to effectively minister to others.  Those experiences and teachings to others can then be brought back into your family.   As you move back and forth increasingly feeding the gardens of youth and family, you will begin to create a spiritual sphere of momentum which increases in velocity.  Much like an ice skater who pulls their arms in tightly to their body to spin more quickly.  The force of your core circle of influence’s gravitational pull will start moving outer reaches of the church and community.  However, spiritual negligence to your family will produce an out of balance ministry.  Attempting to force momentum to something that is out of balance will eventually break.  Many times unfortunately, it’s the family that breaks first.

What are things you have done to balance family & ministry?

We talk about the role a youth worker should take on the topic of dating and how we can better empower parents instead of taking their job of teaching.

As promised, here are three postcard Photoshop templates for you to utilize and make very cheap, yet creative Christmas cards for family and friends.

Photoshop File Compressed (2.8 MB) – Download

Photoshop File Compressed (2.5 MB) – Download

Photoshop File Compressed (5.4 MB) – Download

Continue Reading...

This year, we decided to not only go the crafty route for our postcard, but the cheap one as well. I took several photos of the wife and I plus our dog, Winston, and my wife’s baby bump and threw them together in a 4″ x 6″ image. The cheap part of it is I took this image to Walmart’s photo center and make thirty $.24 postcards to send out to friends and family!

Jealous of our work? Tomorrow we will give you the Photoshop file as well as two other versions that did not make the cut.

Continue Reading...

This week, we look at how youth ministry can be designed to walk alongside the family and support the parents and teens.

Continue Reading...

I have this deep desire to make youth ministry more than a one-night-a-week thing. I want teenagers to take these lessons and apply it into their lives. So we will be posting an conversation starter video on the USAFA Club Beyond Facebook page three days before the lesson and a reflection video that night after club. It takes 15 minutes to put the video together, twenty minutes to upload, and hopefully a life-long impact as they apply this lesson to their life. Worthy investment.

Conversation Starter on Family

Club Reflection on Family

Continue Reading...

Here are some great resources for youth pastors to read that can help you support families. You need to buy them all and I would encourage you to buy extras for volunteers, church staff, and parents to read too.

  1. Teenology: The Art of Raising Great Teenagers by Jim Burns.
    In Teenology, author Jim Burns covers all these issues and more. His no-holds-barred approach tackles even the most sensitive topics, providing parents with the answers and advice they need to raise their teens to become responsible adults. An invaluable section on common problems and solutions addresses everything from curfew to bullying to pornography and beyond. Don’t overlook this must-have resource!
  2. 99 Thoughts for Parents of Teenagers: The Truth on Raising Teenagers from Parents Who Have Been There by Walt Mueller.
    If you’re a parent, you’ll want to read, devour, and absorb the dynamic truths in this book. And if you’re a youth worker, you’ll want to get this book into the hands of parents in your ministry to guide them, encourage them, and give them insights on fulfilling God’s great call to raise children who pursue a Jesus-centered life.
  3. Real World Parents: Christian Parenting for Families Living in the Real World by Mark Matlock.
    Christian families today often find themselves stuck between two stories– their own family’s story and God’s story. It’s like they’re living two lives: their Christian life and their “real world” life. The trick is figuring out how to get your family’s story to line up with God’s story in the world around us, helping you raise children who have the character, values, and mission that allows them to go out into the real world and live out a real faith. Real World Parents is a parenting book that helps you to be proactive, rather than reactive, when it comes to raising Christian kids in a world that is filled with contradictions to a life of faith. Rather than trying to raise kids who are “good Christians,” you’ll find the tools to help you live out a faith that allows your children to see what it means to live as a Christian. As a result, your kids will learn about real faith by living it out with you.
  4. Revolutionary Parenting: Raising Your Kids to Become Spiritual Champions by George Barna.
    If you’re like most parents, you think you’re doing an okay job – and you probably believe you’re doing better than most. But if your goal is to raise kids with a life-impacting faith, that may not be good enough.Determined to learn the secrets of those who’ve raised spiritual champions, world-renowned researcher George Barna conducted a series of surveys and thousands of personal interviews with both young adults and their parents. In the process, he was able to uncover a number of common denominators to parenting success. Some of his findings will encourage you; others will surprise you. But be forewarned – raising a spiritual champion takes Revolutionary Parenting.
  5. Think Orange: Imagine the Impact When Church and Family Collide… by Reggie Joiner.
    What if the primary mission of the church is not to help the family, and the number one priority of the family is not to go to church? What if they are both designed to work together to show a generation who God is? IT’S NOT EITHER / OR. IT’S BOTH / AND. Two combined influences can make a greater impact than just two influences. When you think Orange, you rethink the way you do ministry for children and teenagers.

What other resources do you know of that you find valuable?

Continue Reading...