Youth Ministry and Marriage: Holding Hands
The beautiful couple walks out of the church sanctuary, hand in hand. The wedding ceremony is over and now the marriage begins. For this couple, marriage is holding hands with ministry. The couple wonders how this will work out after the honeymoon is over. For me and my bride, ministry took us to our honeymoon. Within days of getting married, we headed to Rockford College for two weeks of Youth for Christ training. Our honeymoon suite was a stark dorm room. I do not recommend this. I’m still trying to make up for this with my bride some thirty five years later.
So how does a married couple hold ministry in their hands? I want to share three insights that just might help you whether you have been married four months or forty years.
First grab hold of the hand of mercy. We’re all flawed people. No one is perfect, including your spouse. But you already knew that. That’s why we need to be Jesus to our spouses. Remember the parable of the Good Samaritan? A Jewish man was robbed and left half dead alongside the road. Along came an unlikely neighbor, a Samaritan. The Samaritan took pity on the Jewish man in the ditch and cared for him. The Samaritan displayed mercy or the giving of what’s not deserved. My wife is my closest neighbor. She gets beat up by life and sin. I need to have compassion. I come alongside her. I apply mercy along with the other gifts of love and grace that Jesus provides. These wonderful gifts flow from a close relationship with Jesus. As a married couple our first responsibility is to abide in Jesus. Jesus is the Vine and we are the branches. Life flows from Him. Apart from Him we can do nothing (John 15:1-5).
Next we grab hold of the hand of mission. In your per-marital counseling or wedding ceremony, you probably heard the words of Matthew 19:5, 6… “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one.” Did you catch the phrase, “So they are no longer two, but one?” Make sure you are together on your mission. If you have any children, they are important to your mission. You have a responsibility to pass on your passion for Jesus to your children (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).
Make sure your ministry doesn’t take you away from this primary mission you have as a married couple. Then look for ways to make the ministry you have as a mission together. My wife Pat has been great in our years of marriage and ministry.
Whether it’s been my years in youth ministry or now as a pastor, she’s my biggest cheerleader and prayer warrior. We do ministry together as often as we can. Together we are in sync with the mission Jesus has given us.
Finally hold tight to the hand that is connected to the wrist with the watch on it. Ministry can be time consuming. We need to be skilled enough to manage the twenty four hours God gives to us each day. Ephesians 5:15, 16 says, “Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time…” Make sure you are giving the time necessary to grow your marriage. We need to sit down with our spouses and go over our weekly schedules. We need to set boundaries in our ministry and put date nights on our calendars. Are you spending enough time with your spouse and family? Is your relationship growing with them? Ask your spouse! Have the conversation. Manage time together.
After all these years of marriage, I still get a thrill holding Pat’s hand. Make sure you walk hand in hand with the one you love. As a married couple in ministry, hold Jesus hand even tighter. Hands together will provide the resources needed to live out marriage and ministry.